Sunday 5 February 2017

Growing Up

When I lost John someone said something profound to me.  She said “This must be such a loss, after all you grew up together.”  A profound thought; not just a loss but also a growing.

I have enjoyed growing up with your family. 

Both of you have taught me so much…about living life and modeling it, not only as a family but also as a faithful Christ follower.  From being in your midst I have learned much about prayer and teaching and loving and leadership … and showing grace.

I have listened to many Pastors and there have been a few with whom I have felt like raising my hand, wondering about some of their words, but not with you…well only once… I had to make an appointment and come to your office…that was hard, for both of us, but both met with grace…that memory is an honor.

But there is more…

I have been on quite a journey these last few weeks…a journey that has taken me on your road.  Your journey…me along for the ride, it’s been a privilege; emotional and an honor!

I have been going through files on sticks, files on CD’s and envelopes of photographs, baskets of them…fourteen years’ worth…all about Arnold Church…and you.
 
I saw how you came as a young man (you had more hair then) you came with a young wife and a sweet baby, your small family…and as I perused all these images I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

When I say ‘you’ know that I include Leanne too…because walking beside every good man is a great woman.

While I devoured image after image, it was like I could feel the emotion they reflected…I saw the tracks of tears and heard the sounds of hearts breaking…the sound of that sadness deafening…but more than that I heard the sounds of laughter, not only from you but from those around you. I was inundated with the cacophony of unrelenting happiness!

I saw the toddlers that walked within the walls of Arnold community church, the ones you called by name, chased and held hands with.  I saw you sitting on the edge of the stage praying over them.  You took a special interest in all of them.  You were at hand when they were born, many you dedicated, you wept over them and laughed with them as they grew.

Those young children you sat with (your children included)… I saw them climbing the stairs into crazy youth years and then to young adulthood; some of whom you picked up at Upper Sumas School in that big yellow bus, some whom you baptized and some whom you united in marriage, counselled and have been modelling life for.

I poured over memories of people who stood at the gates with you, elders, deacons, ministry leaders, I saw their compassion for you and for one another.  I saw the general congregation, fellow sojourners on the road with you; none of them general but special in their own way, serving out grace and mercy, joy and laughter.  I saw them all being the hands and feet of Jesus.

I saw worship happening, I could hear the different instruments resounding and I heard the voices singing out praises with the assembly…musicians echoing sacred moments often with your family in the midst of them.

I scrolled through images that were overcome with the saints, ranging in age from Granny Neumann who was on the journey with us until her old age of 102 to the three youngest new borns, triplets of whom I am sure you have already prayed over and touched each tiny hand. 

I saw the saints lost… Kristy Tolsma who inspired you to stand on the hill at the edge of the tracks, praying; sweet Mary Neumann, who most likely taught you much about prayer; both Mary and John Rempel, of whom shared immeasurable wisdom and integrity.  You embraced the family of little Brady Pauls; you mourned Josiah Haak and his struggles, more than anyone could bear; you offered strength to Neil Ens and comforted my own John whom you called precious.

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful servants…”

I saw hard times, not so much visible to the eye but in the background and around the edges...decisions being made, roads blocked, plans laid out, visions coming to pass. Words penned and spoken, boards and brick all broken, crumbled in blood, sweat and tears….but love too.  

Fourteen years of winding dips and turns, of uphill climbs, of open road and clear sailing…fourteen years of travelling a road that God sent you to navigate; to guide traffic and to repair bridges…a road that you put us all on…a road that has spanned a life time.

 Here is a trustworthy saying that is worthy of acceptance…

You have been an amazing part of our lives, a man of God who has enriched us beyond measure!
And though we are filled with joy for your new adventure, we are going to miss you with tears…

And these, not my words…but a fitting end
“There is sacredness in tears; they are not the mark of weakness but of power! 
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. 
They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and
Unspeakable love.”

We will always love you…

And I love that!