Sunday 20 April 2014

At the Proper Time

Friends talking, preaching, hoping, praying, washing feet, breaking bread, drinking this in my name, amazing grace, blood sweat and tears, friends sleeping, a kiss, betrayal, thorns, spit, a cross, nails, death, darkness, curtains ripping, sun darkening, a tomb, a stone...rolling away, empty, beyond expectations...new life; He lives!

Friends, why so sad, wake up!  I have just been to the tomb, the tomb is empty, He lives; I have spoken to Him; Jesus is alive…let’s rejoice!

Amazing grace.

I was in the Easter service this morning…I was supposed to be in the early service and in the second service; accidents happen, that's what my son said.  Last night we had the practice; all the children, signs, flowers, streamers, happy faces singing and me…me, forgetting my words; feeling sad, betrayed by my own memory!  When the time was done, I asked the children to pray for me, that I might remember my words; they all assured me they would, pray, hard. I asked some friends to pray too, some gave encouragement, some brought paska, late at night, in their pajamas.

So the morning came and I was ready, more than ready, prepared, prayed over and in costume, I only needed to wait for the proper time.  The proper time, ahh, but not the right time; a phone call, where are you?  I missed the first service, betrayed by my own mind, yes late for the show!

But all was not lost, I was forgiven and the fact remains God does not need a perfect program to portray his message, He simply needs imperfect people to share His message…and I did, in the second service.

Here are my words…said in the character of Mary Magdalene in front of the children who had just sang Oh Happy Day while waving their streamers and flags with happy faces and the congregation of the second service…perfect.

The Easter lily, isn't it beautiful, tradition says that these flowers sprang up in the field around the place where Jesus died on the cross. The  bulb, the seed that grows a lily, it looks dead, but it’s not; once it is buried in the ground, in just a few days, it will come to life and in the proper time it will spring up into this beautiful lily. This reminds us of Jesus…He had to die on the cross and He had to be buried in a tomb…but He didn’t stay dead.  In just three days He came back to life.  He rose to heaven…and in the proper time He will come again.

Everything about this flower tells the story of Jesus.
The lily has the sweetest scent…the bible says that Jesus is a sweet aroma like a lily.
Its petals are perfect white…white as snow…like Jesus who has no sin.
The flower is the shape of a trumpet…a trumpet calling out the good news…this is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Yes, the good news, God loved us so much, that He sent His only son to die for us, to save us from our sins and to make a way for eternal life…

Jesus and new life, He wants us to live a new life.
Bury His seed in your heart, and He will live in you…and in the proper time 
we all will live with Him forever.
Today we celebrate and rejoice that…yes…Jesus lives!

Amazing Grace.

I love that.

Sunday 13 April 2014

I am Second

Life is full of choices, sometimes it is really easy to make the right one, sometimes it is not and lives are affected, I am affected.  I truly wish that I would always make the right choice, do the right thing, not hurt anyone, leave everything unaffected, but here I go again, I do it over and over, when will I ever learn!

But, I am an overcomer, I figure it out, I always figure it out.
 
I watched the cutest little video the other day, a little girl was meeting her new baby sister for the first time, admiring her, loving her, touching her; when the baby began to cry, the little girl sat back clapping her hands together in the amazement of it.  Then the little girl looked down at her baby sister, and looking deep into her face she said, “You okay, you okay, you okay.  You fine, you fine, you fine…” She never stopped, encouraging, loving, confirming safety to her new baby sister, that all will be well. 

This is how I feel; covered, as if there is someone hovering over me, in the deepest, loving way; confirming that all will be well… you okay, you okay, you fine, you fine. What a comfort, such an amazing little phrase of encouragement, little splashes of confirmation, yes, I will be okay.  When I hear them spoken in the spaces around me, little flutters of joy, my face breaks out in smile, and I know I will be fine.  I wrote these words on the wall in my room, so that even in my everyday going about, being busy and also not so busy times, the down times, I will be reminded.

Being reminded; reminded of just one more thing, life is not all about me; there’s a surprise, what was I thinking, why do I get caught up in that every time? Well not every time, certainly not always, but sometimes.  Everyone does at some time or other, but the fact is, none of it is about us.  Life is about how we respond to it.  Seems simple doesn’t it, responding to life; life given us by the grace of God, God in us, God’s story, us in it…how then will we live, how then will I live? 

How I need to live, is to decide to be second in every story, with every friend, in every relationship, giving all of my people and even those on the edges of my circle; consideration, patience, persevering with them, enduring with them, loving them…all of these before my needs, giving, giving always gets; getting more in return, more than a person ever bargained for. Yes, I want that.  But more than that; God first, I want that. 

How I want to live, how I need to live is all dependent on where I place God, His word, His story…that will be first; God first, me second.

Yes, this is the way, walk in it, but the gate is narrow and the way is hard…yes, I know this, but I am okay, I am fine, I am second.


I love that.

Thursday 3 April 2014

What Did I Find at the Sea?

"For whatever we lose (like a you or a me) it’s always ourselves we find at the sea."
ee cummings

I had a dream not that long ago, shortly after I moved in to my lake house, a dream of water rolling over and over; I couldn’t see me, just the water, yet, I was somehow in the midst of it, not overcome by it, certainly not drowning nor even struggling, just in it, peaceful somehow.  Changed, maybe…or maybe found; yes, found I think.

When I was in Mexico, my last night there, I was taking in the beginnings of a storm, the sky growing dark, waves of the sea splashing up and over the rocks that lay just a few steps away; feeling the spray.  I was in conversation with a young woman, a friend I had made, her husband sat nearby with the babies hushing them to sleep.  We talked about many things, hard things, life, death; I shared with her the story of John and she was amazed, her eyes searched my soul, deep and after a time, asked... “How have you been changed?”  I was affected by her question, not that I didn’t know the answer but that I felt like it wasn’t her asking the question…I told her, I have seen the grace of God and every moment of every day I see glimpses of Him, His grace, His beauty; everything I do is intertwined with Him and…and I am living a brave new life.

True, even in the midst of mistakes I have made, even in the midst of brokenness and loss, even in spite of my everyday walking about life I can see the beauty, even in the bad.  I love that.

I am not perfect.

I am a sinner.

There have been times in my life; one or two things that happened to me that I never told John, I have never told my children; one or two things, that I am not proud of, but I have done them.  I have confessed them to God, oh yes, He knows, He was right there when they happened.  I love knowing that, God with me, standing beside me, knowing, watching, weeping…right there with me; amazing Grace even then, even in those days and yes even now, even in this…this walking about everyday life.

I’ve heard it said that confession is everything, confess to one another, yes, I get that, I believe it.  Christ said, go and tell everyone what has happened to you.  But sometimes He said, now go and tell no one, I believe that too, some things are between Him and me.

If I were to tell you just this one thing about myself, surely you would say “this must be your greatest sin.”  We think it is about our greatest sin, but God doesn’t care about our greatest sin.  What He cares about is what we do with it…where do we go from there…what do we do with our mistakes, our brokenness, our loss?  How will it change us, how has it changed me?   I have let Him help me work it out , those days and especially these days; I have looked for God’s grace…I have been changed and I see that which could be my greatest sin is in fact my greatest gift;  amazing grace.

So I am not perfect, I want to be, I really do, but it’s not going to happen, not on this side of eternity.  Yes, we are made in God’s image but all have fallen short, you and I, yet there is hope in our stories of brokenness and loss.

Grace was made for people like me, and for people like you, how perfect is that?

What did I find at the sea?  I found me…changed; changed over time, I’m not who I have been.


I love that.